In
our culture, elders play significant roles in marriages or
weddings. From the choice of venue and date to the list of
sponsors, the opinions of elders are almost always given due
importance. In some cultures, even the choice of partners
lie on the choices of the elders. While the practice has is
frowned at in some cultures, it has become so deeply etched
in our customs that acceptance out of respect for tradition
becomes commonplace.
Manobo wedding on water
About
the Image: The photographs are available for
purchase at Retrato.com.ph (http://www.retrato.com.ph).
To purchase, click on the image/s. They are
also available at the Photo Library of the
Filipinas Heritage Library.
The
images are owned by the Filipinas Heritage
Library. Copying without permission is punishable
by law.
For the Manobos, for instance, the elders in
the groom’s family decide whether a bride is
acceptable. A proposal is then sent to the paternal
uncle for the marriage. The bride-to-be’s family
then asks for the bride wealth, which could be paid
with money, land, animals, or precious stones. If
an agreement is reached, the wedding ceremony is formally
started.
The
groom’s datu or spokesperson offers a
kagun composed of a plate, a threaded needle,
string of beads and a peso coin, to the bride’s
datu. He also offers a delundun or any property
of value. It is here that the two datus set
a date for the wedding.
After
the date has been set, the bride’s family must
send a chicken to the groom, the blood of the chicken
will be used in anointing the groom and his relatives
to prevent misfortune and to assist them in gathering
the required bride wealth. For their part, the bride’s
family prepares the apa, or food for the wedding
feast. The apa is only fed to the prospective
in-laws.
On
the day of the wedding, the groom’s party goes
to the bride’s house. The groom’s datu
meets with his counterpart to announce their arrival.
The latter will hen announce the arrival and signal
the groom’s party to
enter
the house. But before entering, they must grant or bargain
with the ed-ipal’s wishes. An ed-ipal could
be anyone from the bride’s family. During this time,
the bride is made to hide behind a curtain with someone
watching her so she can’t come out.
The
groom and his companions are then fed. The parents and datus
of the couple can only eat after the ceremonial exchange
of food or seru. The bride’s party are fed next, entirely
from a different menu.
The two datus must now negotiate for the bride wealth.
The bride’s datu lays out rirey of the value
placed on the bride. Then he also sets out the ibatu,
or what the bride’s father had paid to her mother.
Then he asks the groom’s family for the bata,
one or five centavo coins given to the elders, and also
to the spirits. Then he asks for the lihilihi, porcelain
plates given to the girl to prevent omen. The boy’s
family will also be asked for the purangan (value
of endless nights the bride’s parents endured rearing
their daughter), tugenan (value of the nourishment
they provide to their daughter) and the pemuka (sum
of eight pesos).
The
rirey or bride’s value will be always not paid
in full even if the groom can afford it. This is because
the groom is expected to serve the bride and her family
whenever they need help. In the event that she is maltreated
by her husband, the wife can likewise demand for the amount
left unpaid.
After
the bride's wealth has been negotiated, it is time
for the groom’s family to give the tenges
or headcloth to the bride’s family. This is
followed by the seru, a ritual exchange of
food among immediate family members and the two
datus. The two datus form rice balls that will be
given to the couple to eat. The bride’s mother
then prepare a betel chew which she hands
down to her daughter who gives it to her husband.
Towards the end of the ceremony, the couple will
be led the sleeping area where they will be advised
by their elders.
Except for the parents, the groom’s party
may go back to their home after the wedding rites.
The parents of the groom are expected to wait for
three days, during which they offer
sacrifices to purify the newlyweds. This is done
to avoid offending the souls of the couple.
After the offering has been made, the groom’s
parent leave for their home. The groom follows ‘to
call his soul back’. Here, he is purified
with blood whenever he arrives in his old home.
He must also bring back one article of clothing
for every day he spent in his old home. This marks
the culmination of a Manobo wedding.
Reference:
Polenda, Francisco Col-om. A Voice From the Hills: Essays on
the Culture and World View of the Western Bukidnon Manobo People.
Manila: Linguistic Society of the Philippines, 2002.
